Look at that....just over 5 months since I posted last. Better than the entire year I went without posting right before that, but still...TOO long. I don't even consider myself a blogger anymore. That's ok though. It's here when I do "feel the urge" to share something, waiting patiently on me.
It's a new year...I can hardly believe it. Where did 2011 go? But that seems to be the question EVERY year. In some of the years past, I've done what many others do and chose a word to focus on for the year. I decided to do that again this year. I thought long and hard about my word, which is why we are almost a full week into the year before I've made a decision. This year's word is STRIVE.
Most of the time, I feel like I'm am on a giant roller coaster with huge hills and valleys. Some days I'm trucking up to the top of that hill and even make it to the top. Everything is great and I feel like I'm on top of the world. But just as quickly, I go careening down that hill into the valley, and I tend to get stuck there for a while.
During that time, I'm very hard on myself, often having my own little pity party. It's not a fun place to be, but when I get there, as much as I want to start the ascent back up that hill, I have a very difficult time getting my engine started again. Then that climb back to the top appears impossible. A dark cloud seems to hang over me, and I beat myself up. I focus on ALL of my faults and decide that I can't do anything right, and since I can't, then why even try? Then the sun comes back out, and that impossible climb becomes attainable again. It's a crazy cycle. One I'd really like to break.
I know that I am NOT perfect, and I never will be. And I don't believe God expects me to be. However, what I've come to realize is that even though I can't reach perfection, I can try harder to be a better me - the best me I can be...and I know I haven't been doing that!
So, I am going to STRIVE to be the best I can be, at everything I do. I looked up the definition, and it says:
1: to devote serious effort or energy : endeavor
2: to struggle in opposition : contend
I plan to devote serious effort to become a better me. My opposition, most of the time, is me...it is me who I struggle with most!
So, I'm not making resolutions per se, but I am STRIVING for a better year...with a better me!
I will STRIVE to love myself more...this means taking care of myself. I have majorly neglected myself over the past year or two, after working so hard to take care of myself prior to that. So I'm striving to get back to taking care of me through exercise and eating better.
I will STRIVE to become a better Christian, Wife, Mother, Daughter, Friend, Teacher, Homemaker & Business "Owner" &. I have specific ideas in mind to help me be better in all these areas, but I'm not going to list those here, as it's not really a checklist. It's more of a change in the way I think and in my attitude. And that's difficult to put on a list.
So that's it...I am going to STRIVE in 2012!
And who knows, through all this, I may even become a better blogger too...but don't count on it! :-)